He wrote me an email.
Clarity and mystery all in the save breath or in this case...gmail message.
He was sorry to inform me that HR and budget cutbacks had vetoed my almost job. The message was kind but clear. My neon sign had appeared from heaven and I was thankful, but bummed too.
Rewind a week and a half and you find me stressed. The Titanic kind of stress that shows a bit above the surface, but the massive mean part lurks just under the water's edge. The what ifs, the maybes and the life decisions that have Everest sized consequences are Thing 1, 2 and their younger brother 3 causing chaos and commotion in my brain. Sleep...Ha! Who does that anymore? I certainly don't partake. But, that sleepless night a week and a half ago is when I told God that I was too weak to make this elephant sized decision. I would pursue this job until He opened or closed the door clearly. Well...the door closed.
Slammed in fact.
This is good to know. It is also good to know that God is working/not working things out and letting me know along the way. The main dish is gone, but there are a few peas and carrots left on my plate. Edible hope. Is an extra helping of patience included in this happy meal?
"I wish I had better news for you but that came down from the top. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck finding a great job and if there is anything I can do to help you with your search please let me know."
Kindest Regards, God
8 comments:
I'm so proud of you for your approach to this stuff Jess. You're a champion. I was thinking about you today... thinking that I am stoked to see what God is doing. You have a HEART Jessi. It blows me away, really.
Well done, God. In retrospect, this will make sense. But hopefully soon you can look back with clarity and not just blind faith, and say "Well done, God. Thanks."
Good! I'm sorry...
I love the way you worded the 'edible hope' part. how exciting to trust God!
I'm glad you didn't get your finger stuck in the door. Like Fraulein Maria says, "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."
Alright Jessi, where do you want to move? Let's just pick a city and transplant and be roomies.
you have such a way with words... edible hope... i like that. i'm sorry about your pain... but keep trusting! i think about you line "eb and flow" ALL the time! i'm glad you named your blog after that!
I feel you Jessie. just waitin on a sign..
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