Monday, February 15, 2010

I feel...lost

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

Let That Be Enough

Monday, February 1, 2010

i feel...tactile

God is tactile just like me. Or it would be better to say that I am tactile just like my Father God. I like the way touch feels. I experience my world through my fingers often. A few of my favorite things to touch…curly hair, moss, and my friends. Hugs are the best! You can tell me you love me but that means I have to choose to believe you. If you touch me as my friend then I actually believe you.

But the vessel that he was making of clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter; so he remade it into another vessel, as it pleased the potter to make. Jer 18:4

God is my Potter. The live illustration at Vespers on Friday was AWESOME! I sat in the dark sanctuary and strained my neck to see exactly what Mr. Ratliff was doing with his potter’s wheel on the stage. Last week was student week of prayer and the theme this year was something about being God’s masterpiece. Clint’s fingers did a better job of preaching to me than an entire week worth of sermons. His fingers were what held my attention. He knows what he is doing with the clay in his hands. He has had years of experience and it shows in his fingers. Tiny pressure changes, tiny position changes…that is all it took to bring about huge shape changes in the “pot” he was forming.

Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker—An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, “What are you doing?” Is 45:9

God has His fingers in my life. He made me. He formed me originally and now a little pressure here, and a little finger position movement there is making me into who He envisioned Jessi to be. Me…he had a vision of me and now he is helping me get there by getting his fingers dirty, by feeling what is best and what should be done next. Different pressures…different outcomes. Sometimes I feel the pressure. Most times I don’t at all. I think that is encouraging though because I can know that God is still molding, still shaping, still forming even when I don’t necessarily feel anything from Him. In those times when I feel stuck, boring, lukewarm. Just because I am sitting still on his potter’s wheel doesn’t mean He isn’t hard at work. My favorite line from what I actually heard from the sermon that was going on at Vespers… “We are God’s piece of work.”

We are the clay, and You our potter; and all of us are the work of Your hands. Is 64:8