Saturday, October 30, 2010

I heard from God today.

I heard from God today.
He wrote me an email.

Clarity and mystery all in the save breath or in this message.

He was sorry to inform me that HR and budget cutbacks had vetoed my almost job. The message was kind but clear. My neon sign had appeared from heaven and I was thankful, but bummed too.

Rewind a week and a half and you find me stressed. The Titanic kind of stress that shows a bit above the surface, but the massive mean part lurks just under the water's edge. The what ifs, the maybes and the life decisions that have Everest sized consequences are Thing 1, 2 and their younger brother 3 causing chaos and commotion in my brain. Sleep...Ha! Who does that anymore? I certainly don't partake. But, that sleepless night a week and a half ago is when I told God that I was too weak to make this elephant sized decision. I would pursue this job until He opened or closed the door clearly. Well...the door closed.

Slammed in fact.

This is good to know. It is also good to know that God is working/not working things out and letting me know along the way. The main dish is gone, but there are a few peas and carrots left on my plate. Edible hope. Is an extra helping of patience included in this happy meal?

"I wish I had better news for you but that came down from the top. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck finding a great job and if there is anything I can do to help you with your search please let me know."

Kindest Regards, God

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

you don't need a three piece suit to argue the truth

Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will

watch till the end...

Brett Dennen Ain't No Reason

I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday

People walk around pushing back their debts,
Wearing pay checks like necklaces and bracelets

People walk a tight rope on a razors edge
Carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons
It could be a bomb or a bullet or a pen
Or a thought or a word or a sentence

Keep on buildin’ prisons, gonna fill them all,
Keep on buildin’ bombs, gonna drop them all.

You don't need no reason or a three piece suit to argue the truth.

Slavery stitched into the fabric of my clothes

Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will

Friday, October 22, 2010

To You the Only Wise King

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Who was...

You have led so many times in the past. High School seemed scary...but You gave me four girls who were there then and are still here now. Picking a college was stressful...but You opened a door with tons of awesome people and experiences behind it. Choosing and re-choosing a major gave me headaches and sleepless nights...but You brought peace. Which boys to date and which ones to let go...You held my hand whether they were or not. I felt called to be a student missionary...but the last minute came and went. Both You and Egypt run on a different sense of time it seems. Egypt was perfect for me.

Those are the big bullet points...but You have worked out the details too. The tiny details and decisions are where You have pruned me and left something that can grow stronger.

and is...

You have given me a family and a home where I can park until the next adventure begins. I am fed. I am safe. I have time to learn and look and figure out what is really important.

and is to come.

Your leading is so apparent looking backwards. I see it. Why can't I remember as I look forward? I smile and hardly remember those moments of indecisiveness and the stress and despair they caused. Why do I doubt so easily? You have proved Yourself time and time again. My faithlessness has nothing to show for itself but weakness.

With all creation I sing...

I did the top of my lungs with the song blaring while I peeled potatoes. I get it Lord...for now, until I forget again...You have led in the past...You are leading now...You will be my Guide in the future as well.

Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything and I will adore you!

I will work on adoring You...I am not very good at it right now.

Revelation Song

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Coke & Condoms

My thoughts after watching this TED talk:

Everybody in every country drinks Coke (roughly). What if every Coke came with a condom?

Interesting idea for family planning.

Some would argue that it might look like Coke was encouraging sexual behavior...well, I think our American media has that covered already. Plus...the rampant spread of AIDS might seem to say that sexual behavior goes on with or without our approval/disapproval of the matter. Why not encourage the idea of protection and respect...a different kind of pleasure.

A drink that rots your teeth and can clean out your toilet's plumbing but encourages wise choices? Now that is a conundrum...but perhaps a question that could save the world.

P.S. She shows part of K'naan's World Cup commercial! Yah K'naan!

Monday, October 18, 2010

no strings attached.


Skyping that happened today.

North Dakota

"Don't you feel like we're kind of from the future when we talk on skype." Thoughts from Nick.

It's magic!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

My species drums...

Dad has been so excited lately because he has figured out how to watch online things through our TV. A few weeks ago I came downstairs and found him watching soccer. This last week he wanted to have the miner rescue on all evening.

Today...he was showing off his new found skills to my grandma and grandpa.

"You want to watch a show on Hummingbirds?" dad asked nonchalantly. (but more chalantly than non)

"How are you watching that?" Grandpa asks.

"PBS online," says my puffed-chested father.

So for the last 30 minutes I have been watching hummingbirds. Some with long beaks, some with curved beaks, some with territorial issues. Mostly I was bored. Then the not so deep-voiced narrator said this...

"The so and so hummingbird spots a female so and so hummingbird in his midst. To attract her love and attention he instantly starts his special hummingbird dance."

"Dad...what if you had had to win your lady friend by dancing?" I ask.

"You would not be here." Mom interjects.

"He drummed instead." Mom qualifies previous slam.

"My species drums." Dad concurs and then giggles. (Yes, my father does in fact giggle)

Dad won my mother's love and affection by playing the drums...good to know. I guess he is winning her love and affection now by playing online shows for her on our romantic.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


Sometimes I wish I could listen to more than one song at a time. Or sometimes I want to fast forward or skip ahead to the next song on my playlist. Then I remember that I love the song I am listening to.

My cousin Brad got married today. One of his groomsmen fainted. Brad almost did.

Mr. & Mrs. Bradley Thames
According to my cousin Lori I have no hope of finding a man now that I have graduated from college. I rolled my eyes a lot this weekend. As if marriage is the only happiness in life.

Sometimes confiding one's hopes, dreams, feeling, concerns, etc with parents makes one discouraged. I should have known.

I cried at least twice today...for very different reasons both times. The first time I was listening to a love story in a church with friends and family. The second time I was alone, in an elevator headed to the forth floor, listening to Mumford & Sons (refer back to sharing hopes and dreams with parents).

A simple wedding...yes please!

My room in North Dakota a.k.a The Black Hole of Despair is ever approaching.