Monday, January 18, 2010

i feel...auspicious

Today I almost didn’t go to Community Service Day. In fact, all week I was planning on not going. My good friends Tara and Melissa...they are service minded individuals and are very good at convincing. I almost missed out on a good thing. Granted, I had productive life plans for today—plans like updating my resume and making my design portfolio online. Things that have a hard time getting done when my homework is screaming at me. But…I’m glad I decided my future could wait…at least for one more day.

Today was a good day: I served my community, I spent time with good friends and we drove home with the windows down because the sun was shining.

Today made me wonder about other good things I might have missed out on. Today was a close call. Decisions are so difficult for me to make sometimes and this is why. How can one be sure they are making the “right” decision? Whatever “right” means at that time…the most fun, the most beneficial, the most ________ (you insert the superlative). How can we know? I guess we can’t and that is somewhat the frustrating beauty of it all. So really, in all actuality does it matter whether we make the “right” decision or not. We just end up deciding and then running a marathon with it. All these wonderings just open up that door called regret where thoughts turn from joy and contentment to “what if’s” and “I wish…” statements. I wish to be content. Content with me and the decisions I make, content with the mystery novel my life is writing at the moment, and content with what is right now…this very second. Like good days that happened even if by a close call.


TaraB said...

It was a close call for me too. I'm bad at decisions too. I struggle to be content too. In the book "Sex God" Rob Bell says that one of the most comforting phrases a person can hear is "me too." I'm glad I get to say that phrase with you a makes for a pretty rockin' friendship.

Anthony said...

Me too.

Miss Jehle said...

Sometimes I appreciate good things more when they almost didn't happen. Close calls are exciting! But maybe only in the end..

chelsea said...

Ok, fine, i'm a loser, i didn't go to community service day... =P