Pandemic

Maybe I should be a doctor...because I am so good at curing disease.

Not. But I did have fun playing this board game. Pandemic is its name. Perhaps I have had an unfair advantage in that my game allies were really good and well versed in the disease curing realm. We killed disease. Take that.

Perhaps instead of being a doctor, I should go see one. One that deals with hearts and minds and confusing emotions. Growing up sucks. Yes folks, I said sucks. There...I said it again.

Speaking of growing up...of which I was...teenagers really are dumb. We don't really realize how much we grow until we have. You may now all collectively say "duh" at once. Do people still say duh or is that so 3rd grade?

Anthony...you were missed.

Book Review: The Irresistible Revolution

The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical
Author: Shane Claiborne

The Overview:

I tend to not like trendy christian books that everyone is talking about. Lame...yes, but true nonetheless. Books by Rob Bell, Anne Lamott, The Shack and this particular book have been on my "too trendy for my taste" book list. I would probably really resonate with what the authors are saying, but for some reason...I just can't crack the first page. But...perhaps the tides are changing because I made it through this book and even started reading the intro of Velvet Elvis the other day.


The Good:

A borrowed book means no highlighting and therefore less memory, so I have less specifics to share, but overall...this is definitely a thought provoking book. Good and often great in both presentation and pulp. I love that when he had questions he dove straight into an experience that would give him the answer. Whether living in Calcutta with Mother Theresa or taking back a church in Philadelphia for the homeless who took sanctuary there. Also on the love list of this book is the way he uses terms that have definite unfriendly connotations to make a point about Jesus and the way He loves and the way Christians should be relating to the world....like the word extremist. We are to be extremists for LOVE!


The Bad:

I couldn't quite decide if Shane and I would be friends. A lot of what he writes about make me want to do a little cheer and join him instantly, but at the same time I could recognize that I had my defenses up while I was paging through reading his thoughts on social justice, the state of the church and even Corporate Responsibility. I am not sure I was defensive because I disagreed, but perhaps because the way we approach our common thoughts is very different. Our ideas on Corporate Social Responsibility do in fact clash sometimes. Which made me want to talk to him in person and sort of hash out what he really meant by some of the things he said.


The Memorable:

There are way too many quotable moments to even pick a few to share.


The Recommendation:

Read with an open, but discerning heart. Embrace the ideas of authenticity in the personal revolution you find yourself in and pursue ways to challenge the world's perception of God.

Social Media has taken the stage

Twitter, foursquare, apps, Facebook, Google+, etc have found their way into the Adventist communicators vocabulary...finally! finally? I guess the tone you take depends on your personal preference to the-140 characters or less-world we live in now.

I'm in Chicago for the Society of Adventist Communicators convention. Arrived on Thursday and I am headed back to Seattle tomorrow, but in the meantime my little baby notebook is full of thoughts about these posting things that I have tried to keep at the controlled edges of my life for quite some time now. I was not an early adopter and I just think the whole thing is far too trendy and invasive for my liking, but I think the posting monster might take my imagined control quite quickly and in the very near future.

Working as the Marketing, Recruiting & Public Relations person at Auburn Adventist Academy means that it is sort of my job to be into this online social experience we find so valuable and rewarding these days. I have been rebelling mostly. I post to our Auburn facebook only when I have to and I have been refusing to dive into "Tweeting." (Does no one else thing that is the most ridiculous addition to our English vocabulary?) Anyways, my personal feelings aside, based on what I have heard this week, I think I am sort of excited about the possibilities that can be cultivated through proper use of social media. Even "tweeting"...blast.

Side Note: Kessia is the coolest. She was here with Adventist Information Ministry (AIM) from Andrews. She is employed as their social media guru while she is in between her masters and doctorate studies. Wise. Engaging. Authentic. So cute. Her passionate personal feelings on the matter is why I now have these...

@jessijoturner  [and]  @AuburnAcademyWA

don't hate.


the changing face of social media...xkcd's "Map of Online Communities"

xkcd - spring 2007

"Map of Online Communities 2"

xkcd - spring & summer 2010

The 2010 Social Networking Map by Flowtown

tribute to xkcd - 2010

kessia...if you read this...know that you were the very first "follow." Be proud!

{ ]

Hi. My name is Jessi and I am a workaholic.

My to do list is long. My energy gone.

Will I change...probably not.

Cause of Death: inner and outer expectations

---

I am in the midst of planning family weekend.
The chosen theme is Life Balance. Ha!
Totally unrealistic. Who has time for balance.
A nice sort of idea to ponder while waiting for the printer to print though.

I guess I should probably change my blog subhead or have a change of heart. one of the two.

Fred Meyer Cart Guy

Sunday...6:45am…I roll back over really not wanting to get up. Too bad Puyallup is 30 min away and I have to be there by 8.

8:30am…Finally make it to my destination with only one missed exit, one large turn around and the gas gage at "E"

9:00am…Psych myself up for a day spent at the Car Show/8th grade fundraiser I am recruiting at.

1:30pm…Realized eating two hotdogs was too much for one day. Also realized that the van's battery was dead. Guess I'll be at my booth till the bitter end till the nice man who is running the show can jump me.

3:20pm…van back in action still reminding me that she is thirsty. Takes about a decade to find a 76 gas station that the school's card will work at. Turns out most of them are out of commission.

4:20pm…van back at Auburn. Me back in my car…let the errands begin. If I don't run errands today, they won't get done. Last week I was asleep as soon as I walked in the door thanks to jet lag and a brand new job…not conducive to getting anything accomplished in the evenings. Turns out I can get a lot done at 3:30am when I wake up for the day.

6:30pm…ding! last stop…Fred Meyer…check! My gas tank is no longer empty and neither is my refrigerator. I let the cart slam into the parking lot holder and I am headed home.

10:35pm…check the car twice, check the apartment three times, check my bag 18 times. Nope…no wallet to be found. Panic. Prayer. Pacing.

10:36pm…the cart slamming into the other cart at Fred Meyer runs slow motion through my head…OH NO!!!  Dread feeling hits…my wallet was in that cart…yelling at me with his tiny blue voice, "don't leave me, don't leave me!!!"

10:45pm…think to call Fred Meyer…no one has seen it.

10:55pm…not trusting Fred Meyer phone dude, I jump in my car and head their way. I check the parking lot holder…no carts. I awkwardly crawl around the carts in the entry. I ask the front desk lady if she has seen my tiny blue wallet. She calls the dude from the phone I am guessing. I get embarrassed and want to leave. She says it is better to check…maybe they found it she says. The silence kills me. The lady on the other side of the phone is looking…looking forever it seems like.

Lessons I learned from today:

1.             two hotdogs is too many

2.             remembering what the maintenance guy from the school you work at looks like is key to not looking foolish

3.             car shows are much more fun when you know something about cars

4.             Keeping track of precious things is important for maintaining proper stress levels

5.             Man is basically good. You don't believe me? Ask the Fred Meyer cart guy who found my little blue wallet. He left it alone…my dollars are still there…and he turned it in. What a good guy/girl...whoever they are.

Book Review: Strength to Love

Strength to Love
Author: Martin Luther King Jr.

The Overview:

Oh, Reverend King...you rocked my socks! I should get paid by the publisher or something because I have been telling everyone and their brother how good this book is. I'm not a sermon reading enthusiast, but this collection of sermons penned by the man who had a dream, but first had a church and a whole ton of conviction kept me turning the pages.  His 1950s wisdom for a segregated America is still incredibly applicable to our "social injustices are not my problem" America. Preach that social gospel Brother King!





The Good:

Each Sermon/Chapter talks about something a little different: Nonconformity, Communism, Weakness v. Strength, Liberalism, Nonviolence, etc. But a couple of the chapters were instant winners for me.

Chapter 8, the sermon entitled, "The Death of Evil upon the Seashore," asks the question, "Why does God allow evil to exist?" King's answer is neither arrogant nor passive and gives an interesting perspective on God's power v. God's purpose. Look up the chapter online and read it for yourself!

I just finished the last chapter, Chapter 15, "Pilgrimage to Nonviolence" and I almost wish that had been the first chapter because it gave a lot of context about the time period and King's personal life at the time of these sermons as well. It talked about his personal philosophies, how he came to the conclusions he did and how diving into various theological theories rounded out his view of man. Super interesting. I would definitely suggest reading this particular sermon online if nothing else.


The Memorable:

"God has two outstretched arms. One is strong enough enough to surround us with justice, and one is gentle enough to embrace us with grace."

"The gospel at its best deals with the whole man, not only his soul but also his body, not only his spiritual well-being but also his material well-being. A religion that professes a concern for the souls of men and is not equally concerned about the slums that damn them, the economic conditions that strangle them, and the social conditions that cripple them is a spiritually moribund religion.

"Most people, and Christians in particular, are thermometers that record or register the temperature of majority opinion, not thermostats that transform and regulate the temperature of society."

"We must learn that to expect God to do everything while we do nothing is not faith but superstition."


The Recommendation:

Enlightening, historical, heart-changing.

a monday...with the label of last

Today is my last Monday interning at World Vision.
Jenn says that I am a very sentimental person.
This is true. Good memories are like hugs.
I like hugs.
I also like cupcakes.
I think the one I just devoured will be my last of the day.
We don't normally have cupcakes, but today was someone's birthday.
Sometimes lasts are hard for me.
It is hard for me to say good-bye to good things. To let go.
Let the current do it's job Jess.
Let the next adventure surprise and delight.
Jump in and don't hold back.
Hugs, and cupcakes, and good things will come again. They always do.



I am not sure the bit about the last cupcake was a whole truth...



...but I guess you'll never know.

Rivers & Roads

Harmony...I wish that lived in me somewhere.

The boy in the sweater...I wish he lived near me somewhere. ;)

Book Review: The Good Body

The Good Body

Author: Eve Ensler

[if you read nothing else...read the conversation between Leah and Eve under the memorable section...so good]

The Overview:

I am on an Eve Ensler kick these days...I checked this one out from the library and it was finished instantly. I stayed up late. I woke up early. I read during lunch. It is short, with lots of breathing room, but captivating. Mostly I wish I had bought it so my trusty highlighter could have painted its pages.

Every woman has that one part of her body that takes up far too much emotional time and attention. It is where all her anger and self-hatred is pointed. It becomes the reason for all of her pain, and heartache, and lack of success. It is the measure of "perfection." For Eve, that body part is her stomach.  

The Good:

Eve seems to like to make her points by using her own story and mixing it with the real and funny and transparent stories of others like herself. She tells the story of the author and pioneering editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine who is 80+ years old, does one hundred sit-ups twice a day and believes that ninety pounds is only on the way to beautiful. She talks to Bernice and tells us her story. Bernice is an African American Teenager who was sent to fat camp. She loves buffets and going chunky-dunking in the pool. She thinks she looks beautiful "all round and moundy" in the moonlight. Carmen is Puerto Rican and from Brooklyn. For Puerto Ricans, it is the spread they dread. "If you get the spread, you're dead." Tiffany is a model and a completely new woman...literally. She is her plastic surgeon's life project and life partner. She eats ice cream to keep him occupied. My favorite woman that Eve talked to was Leah...the seventy-four-year-old African Masai woman...

The Memorable:

This is what Leah had to say...

Leah: Do I like my body? Do I like my body? My body. My body. I love my body. God made this body. God gave me this body. My body. My body. Oh goodness, I love my body. My fingers, look at my fingers. I love my fingernails, little crescent moons. My hands, my hands, the way they flutter in the air and fall, they lead right up to my arms–so strong–they carry things along–I love my arms–and my legs, my legs are long, so long, Masai people, we are tall, I get there fast, my legs can wrap around a man and hold him there. My breasts...My breasts, well look at them, they're mine, my breasts are round and full and fine.

Eve: Leah, wait, I don't know how to do this. I want to feel like you. I want to love my body and stop hating my stomach.

Leah: What's wrong with it?

Eve: It's round. It used to be flat.

Leah: It's your stomach. It's meant to be seen. Eve, look at that tree? Do you see that tree? Now look at that tree. (Points to another tree) Do you like that tree? Do you hate that tree 'cause it doesn't look like that tree? Do you say that tree isn't pretty 'cause it doesn't look like that tree? We're all trees. You're a tree. I'm a tree. You've got to love your body, Eve. You've got to love your tree. Love your tree.

---

Love your tree! 

The Recommendation:

I think this is a powerful book for woman to digest. I am not sure it would be as meaningful to the man species. Perhaps if the man had a woman in his life that was obsessing about one part of her body....maybe for the hope of understanding he might want to read through this book.

Book Review: Insecure At Last

Insecure At Last: A Political Memoir

Author: Eve Ensler

The Overview:

This book was $0.75 at Mckay's. I couldn't put it down once I started that first page. Whoever marked this as only $0.75 had obviously never read Eve Ensler, or maybe the price maker person was a boy, or perhaps they just hadn't discovered yet how captivating her writing can be.

As a playwright, Eve tells stories. True ones...about women all around the world: Bosnian refugees, female prisoners, Katrina survivors, etc. This is also about Eve's story and about how coming in contact with these women have taught her how to take back the power from "security."




The Good:

Eve is real and raw and penetrating. Unsettling in her quest for understanding and immovable in her stance against violence towards women of every shape, color, language, size, and circumstance. She writes about security because it is something she has been striving for and something she has yearned for her whole life. We are products of our culture and our culture has decided that the female gender, the American, the the mother of 2.5 children has only arrived once "security" has been achieved. We throw away our rights, we destroy faith in humanity and we label all for the sake of this one little word. Security is elusive...it's definition ever changing...it's power ever growing. Eve dives into the question..."What if I were to live insecure."

The Memorable:

A story:
Agnes Pareiyo was a victim of FGM (female genital mutilation). The pain, the humility, the consequences of somebody else's ignorance...she lives with all of this, but has used it to educate and prevent. Agnes walks from community to community through the hot and dusty Rift Valley for hours or even days looking for the Masai. She carries around a woman's torso and teaches the mothers, the fathers, the boys and the girls about the consequences of FGM. She has created an alternative ritual for girls that celebrates their coming-of-age with dance and music and theater...and NO cutting. Fifteen hundred girls have been saved from being cut because this woman kept walking and kept teaching.

A quote:
"Today the United States has the highest prison population in the world, over 2.1 million people. This is the population of a small country. We lock people up at a rate that is seven to ten times that of any other democracy. We build more and more prisons, rather than addressing the poverty, racism, violence, that are the roots of crime. In our need for security, we fortify against our fear rather than changing the circumstances that create it."

The conclusion:
"The Law of Security goes something like this. It is almost a guarantee that in the pursuit of security you will become more insecure...

Make the world "secure" by spending all of your money on destroying things rather than creating–bomb rather than build, annihilate rather than feed...

Allow corporations to ransack contries you are, in theory, saving, making the majority of the people poor and sick and without resources, then call them security threats, illegal combatants, terrorists, insurgents, when they rise up to fight you...

Control will eventually be mistaken for security."

The Recommendation:

"Freedom comes not from holding your life more precious or sacred than others'. Not from consuming more than your share...Freedom does not mean I don't have values or beliefs. But it does mean I am not hardened around them. I do not use them as weapons...Freedom cannot be bought or arranged or made with bombs or guards. It is deeper. It is a process. It is the acute awareness that we are all utterly interdependent."

So good.

I bite my thumb at thee!

Too bad that is the only quote I can remember from all the Shakespeare I was doused with in 9th-12th grade English Lit. Also, too bad it seems to be a misquote. Oh well.

Sahale and I have lived in the same vicinity now for...oh, about 5 months. Since the beginning of the..."I'm in Seattle!"..."Me too!" texting stage of this hide-and-seek game we have been playing, the plan has always been to hang out in some way, shape or form.

[insert winning sound from "unblock me" when I get the red block free]

Today was our day! We win! It only took 5 months...pathetic, lame. We seem to be busy on the weekends and I guess during the work week too. I guess we are mostly grown up and have jobs and stuff.

Back to Shakespeare...

Sahale had the awesome idea of going to "Shakespeare in the Park." She was already going with her mom and asked if I wanted to join. "Yes!" Free entertainment! outside! A plethora of people watching to be had!!! It is fun to see who treks in for an event such as this. The couple in front of me had their matching REI short chairs and looked like they had stopped at Whole Foods to get some fancy olives and such before staking out the perfect spot. The couple beside us to the left looked like perhaps they liked motorcycles and let their dog just dig away at the park lawn. Perhaps they didn't ride the motorcycle and bring the dog...that wouldn't make sense now would it. The group kiddy corner to the right were the "we picnic like professionals" crew. Salad bowls included. The two ladies to my right looked cool. One of them had something crocheted in her backpack. I saw it as she was rummaging for her Organic Cashew Butter.

Comedy of Errors was the play. At first I thought it was 12th Night, which I love, just by a different title, but nope, I guess Shakespeare had a thing for writing plays about twins. We'll call it his twin phase. It was good...a little bit hard to hear, so I am not sure I grasped fully, but then again...when have I ever grasped fully what Shakespeare threw down.

thriller

If all baseball games included this...I might actually want to go.



One of my World Vision friends who also happens to be a Seattle sports fanatic posted this on facebook and I thought I would pass on the few moments of pure delight that I just enjoyed...times two...I pushed replay.

that darn lane...[sigh]

guys! remember this? I do...that was fun.


Jessi's Band Photoshoot from nicholas livanos on Vimeo.

Also...Nick's demo reel is AWESOME...check that out too!

the stack

finishing one before starting another...what a pleasant thought

save tara from the sun...quick!

ps...we live by the pier...did you know that?

first person

A love reminder from the God of the universe to little baby me...

Trust in Me and do good
Dwell in My land and cultivate faithfulness
Delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart
Commit your way to Me
Trust in Me and I will do it 
I will bring forth your righteousness as the light
and your judgment as the noonday
Rest in Me and wait patiently for Me

The steps of a man are established by Me...
I am the One who holds your hand

The salvation of the righteous is from Me
I am your strength in time of trouble 
I help & deliver you 
I deliver you from the wicked and save you
because you take refuge in Me

Take that my doubts and fears, my hesitations and miscalculations! Psalm 37...from God...my God, who yearns and groans and pleads...for me.

Be still little one...just please take my hand...

warm, bubbly...and at times, even fun.

I seemed to have misplaced my personality...













I hope I find it soon.

Mr. CSR

Guys...oh my word! Today, I met Mr. CSR (Corporate Social Responsiblity...[cough] chelsea) for World Vision!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a beautiful day! I literally could not stop smiling. He came to my cube three times this afternoon. The first time he came over to figure out my last name so he could invite me to a meeting about CSR next week. He loves to talk about CSR, I love to talk about CSR and we have a whole hour to do all the talking we want next Tuesday! Oh when will Tuesday come!!!

The second time he came to my cube was to give me a book to read about CSR...don't call me this weekend...I will be busy! The third time he came to my office was to give me the corporate stewardship booklet that TOMS just put out this year. He is the big Kahuna working with TOMS at World Vision. My co-worker Kim is actually headed to Honduras for a shoe drop with TOMS tomorrow! (I told her to check what the shoes were actually like...for Nick and my peace of mind)

My TOMS shoes actually brought me and Mr. CSR together today. We were both in a meeting over the lunch hour and he noticed my choice of foot wear. He pointed it out to the entire room. Then, he wanted to meet me after! Wahoo. He shook my hand! Then my supervisor told him to stay away and not to take her intern...haha.

Guys...World Vision is awesome!!! God is so good.


And in other news...

• Tara and I went to look at our first apt yesterday...that was fun...we felt all grown up and stuff.
• Tara and I also just skyped to remember those days when we were in different states instead of just different rooms.
• The Blaser's cat loves me...even though it scratched me the other day...it doesn't like to have it's back legs touched...I got too close!
• I bought skinny hangers for my clothes. I love them. Tara thinks I am crazy.
• It is Chris Clouzet's bday today...we miss him...I am quite certain I can speak for the group on this one.
• I am living without a car...not very well, but I decided to stop complaining about it last week. Depending on other people is fun too. It reminds me of my first two-years of college...oh darn...
• My choir teacher from High School now teaches choir at Auburn Academy. I haven't seen her in like six years...I got to see her tonight. She is quirky and delightful and Russian and exactly the same!
• I met a bunch of Tara's friends from Walla Walla last weekend...they are cool. I hope they think I am cool too.
• Have I mentioned that I LOVE my job...cause I do. Oh man...can it please be for forever...or a very long time at least? I sure am overwhelmed with all the acronyms and stuff. They actually use all those business terms I was supposed to learn in college! I work for wise and wonderful women and I am excited about how much I will have to learn (re-learn).

three cheers for new adventures

I woke up this morning to a new adventure! New bed, new city, new internship. The explorer in me is super excited, but the logical/pessimistic me is holding me back just a little...playing it safe. Don't have high expectations of a great time, don't get overly confident because that could all change, my first day of "work" at World Vision. Just be even-keeled, don't let your emotions have full reign and try not to spend too much time thinking of that darn rainbow-skyed future. Mostly, I just want to scream and do a little dance and yell, "I'm finally growing up!" at the top of my lungs.

So really...I just want to act like a child.

WAHOOOOOO! I'M FINALLY GROWING UP!!!



but really...we'll see...

Book Review: The Cost of Discipleship

The Cost of Discipleship
Author: Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I have now tried to write this blog 3 times...each time it gets erased somehow...I wonder if that is a sign.

The Overview: 
Dietrich...I am pretty sure he could have been a might fine mathematician because most of this book feels like one large proof to me. He is wise and thoughtful...that is for sure.

The Good: 
Even though this book was first published in 1937, I was surprised at how applicable it still felt for a 2011 Christian. He really emphasized the idea of "Costly Grace"...the grace that results in a life change and not just a few free words. I really liked how he went through the Beatitudes and made them a little more impactful (I don't think that is a word) with his particular form of passion for Christ.

The Bad: 
I am quite certain I only actually understood about 1/3 of what I was reading. If I were to describe this book in one word it would be heady...but it is good to read hard things...right? I think actually comprehending would've had more of a positive effect, but hopefully I gleaned a few morsels of wisdom.

The Memorable: 
Chapter 14 is the only chapter I dog-eared and then highlighted the dog-ear...so I am guessing I was a big fan. Here is talks about the in the world/not of the world idea:

"We are therefore confronted with a paradox. Our activity must be visible, but never be done for the sake of making it visible...That which is visible must also be hidden. The awareness on which Jesus insists is intended to prevent us from reflecting on our extraordinary position. We have to take heed that we do not take heed of our own righteousness. Otherwise the 'extraordinary' which we achieve will not be that which comes from following Christ, but that which springs from our own will and desire."

Throughout the book, he takes the position of "Why not? It is for our own good." Which is so true, but often hard to remember. The harships...well, that seems hard. The mercy...seems like something we should deserve (to our selfish brains). The sacrifices...that seems like something everyone else should be required to endure, but not us. Dietrich is pretty blunt about it all. We signed up...we carry the cross, not because it is easy, but because it is good.

Here is another quote I liked: 

"If when we judged others, our real motive was to destroy evil, we should look for evil where it is certain to be found, and that is in our own hearts. But if we are on the look-out for evil in others, our real motive is obviously to justify ourselves, for we are seeking to escape punishment for our own sins by passing judgment on others, and are assuming by implication that the Word of God applies to ourselves in one way, and to others in another. All this is highly dangerous and misleading. We are trying to claim for ourselves a special privilege which we deny to others."

WORD...

The Recommendation:  
This book was good...but it took me a super long time to finish it. I wasn't super stoked about picking it up, but there were little gems of wisdom to be found every time I did. Game? Go for it...heady is good once and awhile, but if you aren't up for the challenge then don't feel bad.